Trashy Fridays: Virgin Territory

Welcome to Trashy Fridays!

Where we review the most ridiculous shows that are on TV. For now, we will be talking about MTV's new reality show, "Virgin Territory". This show follows the stories of virgins, who are either trying to find someone to have their first time with or showing how they keep their virginity.

The shows starts, and we are first introduced to Dominique (I love Dominique!), who is a 21 year old girl from Maryland. She doesn't want to lose her virginity until a guy puts a ring on it (cue Beyonce, Oh ohh oh woah oh oh...) Her parents are divorced, so she lives with her grandmother, who enforces this mentality. (Grandma is great.) Lots of guys and her friends think that she's a tease because she hangs out with them a lot but she won't do it... (Um, no, that's not being a tease, omg guys.) Due to her parents' split, she is very picky when it comes to dating. In the first episode, we learn that her mom, who has been quite distant from her for years, is getting married. Dominique feels like this is way too soon after the split and she wishes her mom would take care of her more, but her mom kept it real and basically told her that it's not her job anymore at Dom's age (which is a lot of tough love for poor Dom... I understand her mom's point, but she should still do more with her daughter).  Then in episode 2, Dom's friends are trying to convince her to go on a date, thinking that her standards are way too high. Dominique reveals to us that she has touched a penis once and says that when you are a virgin your hormones go crazy, so it can be hard to resist those temptations at times. She confesses to us that she wants to wait because she doesn't want a strong emotional attachment if it won't last forever. Dom also mentions that her family has a history of teenage pregnancy. She wants to make sure that her future child has a stable household, with a mother and a father together. Sensibility in a reality show, finally! Dominique goes on a date at the end of the episode with Sain, someone she had met and thought was a jerk before. However, they have a connection, and I think they have a good chance of having a second date on the next episode.

We are also introduced to Kyle, a 20 year old from Florida with a serious love for tank tops. Kyle is secretly a virgin, of which his sex-obsessed friends are not aware.  Kyle is insecure and goes to the gym because he was bullied and his father died when he was very young. His mom and step-father have warned him about STD's, which he says makes him afraid of vaginas... (oh god, that explains a lot). Kyle explains that lots of women want him, but he isn't looking just to hook up (um okay, likely story). (I bet tank tops have a bit to do with his virginity.)  In the beginning of the first episode, he tries to ask out Ashley, who works at the gym, and she turns him down (world's smallest violin for Kyle). Later, he and his friends (who are all, quite frankly, douches) go to the club to have a good time. (Surprisingly, Kyle wears a hoodie tank top. How shocking.) Kyle instantly notices Tabby for her "amazing body", then goes to his friends for advice and to admit he is still a virgin. (Of course, at first the douchey friends make fun of him, saying things like "you're halfway to a 40 year old virgin".) His friends are determined to find him someone to do as soon as possible because he just needs to know how it feels. (I really don't like Kyle and his crew.)  So in the second episode, Kyle is still trying to get Tabby's attention. He calls to ask her out on a surprise date (now, I hate surprise dates too, but Tabby was just rude). His conversation with Tabby is very awkward and she doesn't seem into him at all, but she accepts and they go on a horse and carriage ride. Tabby hates the date and bitches the whole time. She. Was. Awful.  So unappreciative from beginning to end.  (You didn't have to say yes to the date, Tabby...) Even though Kyle gets on my nerves, he didn't deserve that from her. After the date didn't go the way he wanted, Kyle decided to give up on Tabby. Kyle then discovers this girl from home that he's been friends with for awhile wants to see him. She doesn't have a boyfriend and she isn't bothered by the fact that he is a virgin. I like this girl, and I think Kyle will be way more successful with her. The best part about this episode is that Kyle decreased the number of tank tops that he was wearing.

Next we have Mikaela, who is 19 and from Oregon, and is actively searching for someone to lose her virginity to. All of her friends have done it and they say the first time isn't the best, but once you start doing it life becomes so much easier... (her friends are the best). Mikaela was my favorite character in episode 1 because she loves coffee, so I can totally relate. Her crush is Ashton and she offers to take him to lunch, but on the date she is ssssooooo awkward about everything. She asks him if he has a girlfriend and he tells her yes, so that is the end of Ashton in this story. (Why did he agree to lunch if he already had a girlfriend?  He was pretty flirty before the date, so he's either an awful guy or he said he had a girlfriend just because he wasn't feeling his time with Mikaela.) Mikaela decides to move on and have a "wear anything but clothes" party at her aunt's house. She invites her new crush (again after like 10 minutes these kids move on ugh), Matt, and her roommate brings her edible underwear and condoms, just in case. (Such a good friend.) Although, Mikaela insists that she won't lose her virginity tonight. Matt shows up to the party, and, to be honest, he really wasn't anything special at all. Again, Mikaela talks to this guy really awkwardly, then says "I've wanted to do this all night" and kisses him (ahem, attacks his face), but in the grossest way ever! She sucks on his tongue for like 5 whole minutes and it just made watching it so uncomfortable (I wanted to vomit). So Mikaela had a good thing going for her, but I really don't like her anymore. In the next episode, Mikaela and her friends go to LA to go boy shopping ("honey hunting", ick) for the weekend. They get tattoos then check into their hotel and meet a guy in the hot tub. The guy was hitting on them, but admitted that he had a girlfriend, so her circle of friends left his ass. Next, they go to the club for more "honey hunting". They had a lot of fun and met some people there. (One of the guys asked Mikaela is she was a boy, and I found that to be hilarious!) However, Mikaela still couldn't find a man before the friends left LA (you mean, "honey hunting" isn't the way to find a quality guy!? Shocking.).  At the end of the episode, Mikaela shares that she isn't afraid of penises and has given and received oral before (which is tmi for me) decides to keep her virginity until she finds someone special. This ends Mikaela's existence in the show, which I am happy with, because she was so annoying.

In episode 1 we also have Lisa, who is getting married in a matter of a week. Okay, so Lisa is a virgin for religious reasons, but seems to have no knowledge whatsoever on sex. She has the weirdest fears about it, like where should I put my leg, does it smell, etc.  Lisa and Nick, her fiancé, (who have vastly different levels of experience) go to the priest, who tells her that she probably won't have an amazing time. She is very immature and laughs at the littlest sex jokes, which really irked me. Lisa just doesn't seem like she's ready to have sex yet, and it just really bothered me. That's why having education is very important! She seemed to believe that after she is married she has no choice but to have sex with her husband whether she wants to or not, which also angered me because it's like she feels forced.  That really seems like a sign she isn't ready. After Nick and Lisa have sex for the first time, she confesses that she didn't have the best time and that she was sore the next morning, but she was glad she did it.  (I felt bad for Nick, who was in the room with her while she explained that it wasn't great...) This ends Lisa's part in the series. I felt for Lisa, because her father was sick, but she was a very annoying person in this episode. Like I said, she didn't seem ready and I personally found that to be disappointing.

For the next episode, since Lisa's gone, we are introduced to Luke. Luke is a cute Christian boy, who was raised to believe that sex is saved for your wife, but he finds it hard to resist temptation now that he is in college. Luke's father is a pastor and his siblings are virgins too. He claims that the only reason he is a virgin is because of his family and his relationship with God. (Side note: Luke has tattoos, but they are not Adam Levine-hot.) Luke has a first love back at home and he explains that he's broken her heart several times, but he still thinks that he has a chance with her.  I kept wondering if he really broke her heart at some point or if he just assumed he was such an amazing guy that she must've been heartbroken to not have him.  He seemed a little too confident.

I thought Luke seemed like a good guy, but the previews for the next episode show that he is a real douche. So, the moral of this story is that there aren't any quality guys on this show as of yet.

~ Katrina (and Alyssa)

Breaking the Habit

Do you find yourself doing something that you feel like you do it way too much, or something that is just unhealthy? If you have finally decided that enough is enough and you would like to quit, please know that you are not alone. Although this road will be challenging and it may take some time, I believe that you can do it. I have a lot of things that I would like to quit, so I believe that if you are ready to do a detox of something, we can start this life changing journey together.

I have quite a few habits that I would like to break before the summer is over. But not to overwhelm myself at first I have decided to quit things in stages. The first thing that I want to quit is biting and picking my finger nails. I know, how disgusting right, but I have done this for as long as I can remember. It really sucks because it makes your hands look terrible and it hurts to do. So I have come up with a few ways to help me kick this habit.

First, you must admit that you have a problem. It can be hard to realize, but if this habit that you have is causing you pain or isn't making you happy, you have to admit that you need to change some things.  You can start this process slowly, but admitting to yourself that you have this problem is half the battle. 

Then you must identify what makes you turn to this habit. For me, I bite my nails when I'm really anxious or nervous about something. Whatever causes you to turn to this to help you cope with something, you must identify what you can do differently to have this same effect. For me, I turn to nail biting and picking when I am very anxious. To combat my anxiety, I do yoga daily. It helps relax me and also gives me a way to cope with my anxiety. Yoga also helps me to tone my body all at the same time, so it's a win win.

Another thing that I do is try to negatively reinforce the biting behavior in case I slip up. To do this I use stop the bite nail polish that my awesome friend Alyssa gave me to make my nails taste terrible. Every time I bite my nail, I get this horrible flavor that stays in my mouth for a few minutes. It's so disgusting that I never want to put my hands near my mouth again.

I have also created other methods to help me quit this habit. Sometimes when anxious or when you are bored, you need to do something to distract yourself from the feeling. To do this I use a stress ball or a hair tie to play with. Using these helps prevent me from picking my nails when I have nothing to do. I also am getting in the habit of picking off nail polish, instead of my actual nail. Every couple of days I will do a nice job of painting my nails(thus giving me things to do when I'm bored). I get to experiment with different colors and the polish will strengthen my nails. When I pick off the polish, it prevents damage to my nails and I will stop picking them once it is gone. 

A very important thing while detoxing is giving yourself rewards after a certain time limit.  You can come up with the rewards system yourself, based on what you would love to do or have. For me, I have decided that after Christmas, if I'm successful I will get mani/pedis with my friends.

Just note that after a month, this detox will become easier! As I go through this detox I will update how it is going periodically. If you need something like this in your life, please feel free to join me :)

-Take care and good luck, Katrina

Beach/Pool Beauty Essentials

So the weather is hot and the best way to cool down is to head to the beach or the pool and take a refreshing dip in the water.  Unfortunately, water tends to ruin all the work you put into your makeup and hair earlier in the day.  You have to look good for the beach and the pool, of course!  Here are some tips for looking great on fun water-filled days!

·      Always wear sunscreen with at least SPF 30 (safety first!)- Look for ones that won’t come off with sweat, and reapply every two hours

·      If you have sensitive or acne-prone skin, use a different sunscreen on your face than your body, like Proactiv Solution DailyProtection Plus Sunscreen SPF 30 or Neutrogena Clear Face Sunscreen SPF30

·      Avoid wearing heavy makeup like foundation; instead, opt for just some concealer or BB cream (if necessary)

·      Use powder on your face to reduce shine and lock in any concealer you may have applied- I like the Peter Thomas Roth InstantMineral Powder SPF 45, or the version for oily skin, to just throw in your bag on summer days

·      Keep eye makeup simple to avoid having it running down your face; stick with a waterproof mascara, and maybe a small amount of waterproof eyeliner

·      To add a little bit of color to your face (especially if you don’t quite have that summer glow), use a cheek and lip stain, like the Benefit Cosmetics Benetint (Cha Cha Tint is a great summer color and Lollitint is a trendy orchid shade)

·      Keep your lips moisturized with a ChapStick withSPF 25 (this is especially important when using a drying lip stain)

·      Take some hair products in your beach/pool bag, like a scrunching gel or spray, a spray leave-in conditioner to moisturize ends that are dry from saltwater or sun, hair ties and bobby pins

·      Braids are great for getting hair out of your face and controlling a wild mane after a day in the water- A mini bottle of hairspray in your bag will be useful for taming flyaways and keeping your style in place

~Alyssa

The Virgin's Guide to Life

So you are a virgin, and you are confused as to where you belong in this sex crazed society that we live in.  Maybe you are getting involved in a relationship and wondering where it is going to go. Or you are in a relationship with someone who has already "done it" and you feel a lot of pressure as to what you are going to do about keeping or losing your virginity.  Perhaps, you feel like you should just get it over with, because you feel like you are isolated in the virgin world. Fear not, even though this may seem confusing, I am here to give some advice to help ease your concerns about this issue. 

-When to lose it... Everyone has their opinon, you hear it from your parents, your friends, at school, in the media, at church, etc. ("You're still a virgin?"  "You better not be having sex!") Before or after marriage, it is really all up to you. At a certain point in life you will form your own beliefs on these issues. There is nothing wrong with doing it and there is nothing wrong with waiting 'til marriage. You need to make this decision on your own and you can not allow anyone to pressure you into doing something that you do not want to do (or, once you're ready, to stop you from those things you really want to do).  

-So you have become very curious about sex.  Are these thoughts wrong?  Absolutely not!  Everybody thinks about sex (the ones who deny that most vehemently probably think about it even more). Eventually, people get these urges and it's okay to ask questions. And yes, it's still okay to be curious even if you believe that you are way too young to be engaging in sexual activities.  You should ask questions to the person that you trust most before you have sex. This can be your parents, your big sister, your friends, or any other person that you feel the most confident and open with. I believe that girls should be well educated about these things, and once you know the answers it will be easier for you to form your own opinion on sex.  Education is the key to success, and, often, safe sex!
-My boyfriend has had sex, so I should just do it to keep him happy, right? No, that is a really dumb idea for a lot of reasons. If he just wants sex, he just could do it and move on to another girl; it doesn't make your relationship stronger. Besides, in a relationship, you need to do what makes you happy, not just him.  (With and without sex, happy relationships thrive on a good balance of give and take, you know what I mean?) Doing justice for yourself is so much better than just giving in to the desires of your boyfriend. Listen to yourself and your beliefs before you decide to make any rash decisions like that. And also, if you are in your teens, sometimes you really don't truly know what you want in a guy. Even if you feel like you are in love, it could just be your hormones speaking for you. Also, if you have sex for this reason, you may regret it in the future. So, no, you do not have to have sex with your boyfriend if he has.  This rarely will keep him and will only cause more problems in the future.  It's much better to keep your own values than to keep a man who requires sex when you're not ready (you don't want to keep that man anyway, girl.)

-So whether you feel the pressure because you and your partner are talking about doing it, or you have begun a relationship with someone who has done it before, you need to talk to your partner about this issue.  You have to let them know how you feel, if you don't want to do it at all or want to wait until you are absolutely sure that they are the right one to do it with.  You need to set your boundaries right away. A strong relationship starts with good comunication and honesty.  (Really.)  Do not lie and tell your partner that you've done it; that is a terrible idea! He may think that you would be okay if he tries to touch you and get you in the mood. Telling him how you feel will not only make you feel better, he also will appreciate that you trust him enough to tell him these things.  If your partner tries to pressure you anyway, you know that they aren't the right person for you and you should terminate that relationship immediately.  (Immediately.  I mean it.) If you end up just giving in, you will not have as good of a time having sex and you will end up resenting it. There is also nothing wrong with asking a guy what he wants from a relationship. You two need to be honest with each other, as this can help you decide if this is the right person for you. Bottom line, if a guy really cares for you, whether he's a virgin or not, he will wait until you are ready.

 -Just be aware, try to decide on your views right away or you could end up being a tease to your partner. This is especially true for guys, if you two are having a heated moment and you back out at the last minute, this can be very annoying to him. Doing this a few times, will end up causing problems in your relationship. Guys do not like being teased, and generally they can get into that moment really quickly and he can assume that hes going to get some. Teasing them is not fair to them, so do not do that.

-So, you have found the right person and finally decided that you are ready to have sex. Well wait, you have a lot of concerns about it. Like, "omg someone besides myself is actually going to see me naked.. what will they think!?" "How will it feel, am I making a mistake!?" First off, you need to relax, because stressing about this and being nervous can prevent you from having a good first time. Also, since you have chosen someone who really cares about you, he will love you no matter what and he should also be someone who makes you feel very relaxed and calm. If you two care for each other, it may not be perfect, but you should do your best to make sure that you both are having a good time.  Relax, be safe, and have fun.

-Another thing to be aware of, you can have the expectations, but know that what you expect may not be reality. I always think of That '70s Show, when Jackie tells Donna how she imagines her first time with Michael (Jackie: "Just so you know, Donna, when I finally decide to do it with Michael, I have the whole thing planned out.  First, I'll be wearing a very sexy reinoir."  Donna: "Don't you mean peignoir?"  Jackie: "Yeah, okay, whatever, stop ruining this Donna."  Donna: "Okay."  Jackie: "And then, there'll be candles everywhere.  But also, there'll be a gigantic banner."  Jackie's fantasy reveal a huge banner above the bed that reads "Jackie + Michael= Together Forever")  Now don't get me wrong, it's nice to think about how you would like your first time to go, but a lot of the time it doesn't end up turning out totally the way you want it to. Sex can be a messy thing and not everyone has a great first time. When you get to this point, just do your best to take in the moment and enjoy it. If it doesn't go as well at first, don't worry, sex is supposed to get better the more you do it.  You know, practice makes perfect.

-So my main message is that it is okay to still be a virgin. You, as an educated female, will make good decisions when it comes to sex. Just be yourself and be proud, not ashamed, of having this title. Someday you will find that special someone, and it doesn't matter how long it takes, the time will come once you are ready. Then there will be no need to second guess yourself, because you will have the intelligence and a wonderful person to help you enjoy the entire experience.  When you feel ready, always practice safe sex. I know that you may be told this soooo many times and it will be annoying to hear time and time again, but it is an important thing to think about. This will make having sex become a lot less stressful, and no one wants to deal with the unwanted consequences.
~ Katrina

Summery Palm Tree Nails

This nail art will have you ready for the beach!

You’ll need:

Base coat

Top coat (I prefer Seche Vite)

Striper brush (I use the one from the Sephora Collection Nail Art Set)

Tape

Summery colors of your choice (I used: L’Oréal Nail Color in Macaroon Me Madly 116; OPI Nail Lacquer in You Don’t Know Jacques! Suede; Sally Hansen Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear Nail Color in 02 Green With Envy; Butter London Nail Lacquer in British Racing Green; and American Eagle Outfitters Nail Color in orange)

First, apply a clear base coat to clean nails to protect them from being stained by the polish.  We may want summer to last forever, but the nail polish shouldn’t stay on your nails quite that long!  Then apply two coats of your base color (I used Macaroon Me Madly for this- it’s pretty bright and summery, but it’s light enough to easily put other colors over it.)

Pick a main accent finger for the palm tree (I chose my ring finger) and use your striper brush to paint a small trunk, wider at the bottom and narrower near the top of the tree.  I used You Don’t Know Jacques! Suede for mine, and with a clear top coat over that color it’s almost glittery, which adds a nice touch to the design.  Then, add small palm branches to the top of the tree, again using your striper brush to make slightly curved sections that end in a point.  I used Green With Envy and made four branches, but you can add more or less.  Then I used my striper brush dipped in British Racing Green to outline each branch and draw a small line down the middle of each, to add a little more definition to the design.

Finally, get creative for the rest of your nails!  You can add sand under the palm tree, a sun, some clouds, ocean waves, a starfish, whatever you want!  I kept it simple, using tape to make an orange horizontal stripe on my middle finger and a lime green half moon on my thumb.  Finish everything off with a clear top coat to seal in your look!

~ Alyssa

Yummy Milkshake

If you are planning on losing weight or starting a healthy living diet, you may think that you can't have the things that you love, like ice cream and chocolate.  Well think again.  I have come up with a recipe that can fulfill those cravings and is a healthier choice.  My peanut butter chocolaty milkshake, can serve as an amazing dessert or as an after work-out protein shake. 

To make this, you need:

1/2 cup of chocolate ice cream

1/2 cup of peanut butter chip ice cream

1 Tbsp of peanut butter

1/2 of a banana, sliced

1/2 cup of milk

Directions: Put the ingredients in the blender, and blend until smooth.  Then put into a glass and enjoy. :)  This smoothie is approximately 400 calories per 6oz.
-Katrina 

The New Home Hair Color

You know you’re not supposed to color your hair at home- you don’t know what color to pick, how to achieve your desired look with your current color, how to apply the dye properly, how not to damage your hair irreparably…  It’s best left to the professionals.  But a home hair-color service can give you the tools you need for a great new, professional look for the cost of your average box dye.

The online service eSalon allows customers to consult with a personal colorist to achieve the perfect look.  You just take a survey about your hair color and the look you’re going for, and then you are matched with a colorist who develops the formula you need and sends it to your house.  Your color kit comes with everything you need for your new look, and your colorist can walk you through the process of dyeing your hair to make sure it is applied correctly.

With tons of color options and personalized service, eSalon is everything the home colorist could dream.  Picking up a box of hair dye at your local drugstore leaves you with little instruction and, of course, the uncertainty of exactly what shade your hair will be when you’re done.  Going to the salon can cost a fortune, which is especially annoying if your visit to the salon is to correct a bad at-home dye job.  With the ability to create custom colors and provide professional guidance for customers, for only about $20, eSalon puts the drugstore hair-color shelves to shame. 

~ Alyssa

Concert Essentials

Here we are in the middle of concert season.  From intimate shows to festivals, there are some basic items you need for a concert.

·      Take a small bag, like a crossbody, to hold the things you need without getting in the way

·      Your fully charged phone (so you can take all those pictures and videos you plan on sharing later)

·      Skip the wallet and just bring I.D., cash and a single credit card (this takes up less space in your bag, doesn’t weigh it down as much, and lowers the chance of all those important items being stolen)

·      Your ticket!  (Please don’t forget your ticket.)

·      A compact mirror

·      Lip color (you know you’ll want to freshen that up)

·      Blotting papers/pressed or loose translucent powder (it’s hot out there in the summer heat and in packed venues, so keep your face shine-free!)

·      Hand sanitizer

·      If it’s an all day event, you might want a travel-size fragrance with you

·      A small container of Vaseline (it’s moisturizing for lips and skin, and it’s great for putting on your feet to help prevent blisters when you’re doing a lot of dancing)

·      A water bottle (again, it’s hot out there!)

·      If you’ll be outside, sunscreen and sunglasses

Have fun, and get noticed by your favorite band member!

~ Alyssa