Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Organize Your Life: Social Life

One way to get on track for the New Year is to get your social life together. This can be as simple as managing the amount of social media you use, to finally seeing which people are the most important to you. We have some simple tips!

Managing Your Friends List (the real one)
Having a lot of friends is an amazing feeling, but we must watch out for those toxic friendships. If you have noticed for a considerable amount of time that you have a person in your life that puts you down more than helps to improve your life, it may be time to cut them out of your life. (You know those people that will ask for your help, but go running when you need them most.) It's not always easy, but here are a few options:

     -If you both seem to feel it's time to move on (maybe neither one of you really mesh well together anymore), you might be able to let the friendship fade away on its own.  Don't text or call, and don't make plans with this person.  It's not necessary to announce the end of a friendship if neither one of the friends questions the growing distance.  If your friend still occasionally calls or texts, maybe respond a little less each time.  Hang out less and less as well (or not at all).  Just don't make a big deal out of the end of this friendship (or any new replacement friendships!)

     -If your friend does not seem to feel the friendship is coming to an end (or questions why you aren't around as much), I would suggest just telling them that this is the decision that you have made through a text message in a sophisticated manner. (Like be nice and explain you have appreciated your friendship but do not think it is healthy/can’t be friends anymore because you fight too much/don't support each other/no longer have much in common...  But don't say you don’t like your friend anymore; there's no need to place blame here.) After you talk with them, do not contact them anymore. I would suggest just deleting their number and their information, and from social media as well. Once you get rid of the bad people, try to then embrace the good relationships in your life.

     -Maybe you don't particularly love having a certain friend around anymore, but don't necessarily want to cut this person out of your life completely.  In this case, try talking to your friend in a similar manner as in the point above, but this time explain carefully (and nicely) that you just need a little space.  Maybe you don't want to hang out quite as often as you have been, or this friend blows your phone up way too often.  Again, don't make this a personal issue and place blame in any way, just say you need a little time to focus on yourself/your family/your studies/work/etc.

Social Media Use

Some of us need to manage our pages and what/how often we post things. Your social media accounts are a reflection of you, so it's important to post carefully and thoughtfully.  It's also important to not get too wrapped up in social media!

     -Try to develop a filter of what you post/tweet about. Do not post everything that happens in your life! I would say to post the good things for everyone to see (but be honest and humble.  No one likes to see someone boasting on Facebook, especially if it's clear the post was embellished) and only allow certain people that are close to you to know about the bad things. (If it's a serious matter, like the death of a loved one, and you want to share some information online, definitely make sure everyone close to the matter is personally made aware before posting for the general public to see.)  Generally speaking, no one really wants to see you go on and on about that one boyfriend you broke up with (and can't let go).  Plus, you probably don't want all the things that upset you at different times immortalized on your wall. 

     -Try to also only post things that are important to you. (No nonsense like "I had cereal today!"  No one cares.)  The little things can be fun and interesting at times, but constant updates are overkill.  

     -Keep the negativity at a minimum.  We're all entitled to some criticism here and there, but constant negative comments are just annoying for everyone.  Plus, negative comments about the people in your life (and on your friends list) definitely don't belong online.  Whether or not you name names, I guarantee everyone will notice your childish and catty behavior when you're calling someone out for talking to your boyfriend or glaring at you at that party last weekend.  

     -Try to limit your time on social media. (This, just like exercise, can be done with goals and through a gradual process.)  Too much time spent checking your Twitter feed can create distance in important real-life relationships (especially when you check Snapchat more often than making eye contact with the person you're having lunch with), and those real friendships are certainly more important than funny Vines!  Also, it's much more fun to be present and enjoy the moment while hanging out with friends than to stay up to date on Facebook notifications.  (They'll be there later, promise.)

~Katrina & Alyssa

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